Part I
The tears slowly ran down my face and hit the book that lay across my lap, the pages wrinkling and smudging, and the brisk breeze whipping my hair skewing my vision. But my vision cannot be distorted much more than they already were, filled with water like the sea. The flimsy vines of the weeping willow tree swayed in a rhythmic dance; that’s why I went there of course, for the beauty of the tree. It always made me feel a little better. The spring is always the best but today is not spring, summer is winding down and he is leaving soon.
The bushes rustled down the path to my house. I assumed it was my brother come looking for me. He was visiting for the week; he had chosen the wrong week to come. I feel so bad for having acted the way I had since he’d gotten there. But knowing that everything was changing was taking its toll. A man emerged through the foliage. The man was not my brother.
“Luke? What are you doing here? I thought you were leaving today?” I exclaimed stunned. I jumped from my spot on the rock and quickly wiped the tears away from my face blinking back the ones ready to fall.
“I couldn’t leave,” he looked to his feet then back into my eyes, “not without seeing you.” He took a small step forward; he was just out of my reach.
I tried to speak but couldn’t. I didn’t know what to say. Was there anything to say? I thought he was gone, I thought he was never coming back. For the past four months I’ve been struggling with the fact that I wouldn’t be able to do anything about it and now... now he stands here in front of me, unable to leave without seeing me. Why? Why are you toying with me? Do you not see what has been going on since I laid my eyes on you?
He noticed how unbelieving I looked. “I’m sorry.”
“What do you mean ‘I’m sorry’? What are you sorry for? I don’t get it.” I was almost angry now; how dare he come back and then when he speaks he’s so cryptic.
“I’m sorry for not saying this sooner. But I can’t leave without knowing.” He looked to his feet again. He turned away from me. I almost fell to my knees sobbing. He turned back, tears in his blue eyes. One gently rolled down his left cheek. “Hael. I think,” he paused, swallowed, smiled that crooked smile of his yet his eye brows furled, “I think, I’m in love with you.”
He took a step toward me. I backed away; I stumbled over the rock and caught myself against the tree. The only thing keeping me from falling was that tree. I could no longer see anything. He didn’t stop moving forward. His hand gently touched my shoulder and I shrugged it away. My legs were like jelly. “Why, Luke? Why now?” I sobbed, “Why would you wait until the day you’re leaving to tell me?”
“I wasn’t going to,” now he was crying too. “But I can’t live with the ‘what if?’ I just can’t do it. Hael, do you have any feelings for me?”
I could no longer speak. I fell to my knees. I looked up to him, the darkening sky a backdrop to his irresistible face. “What do you think? Of course I do!” As I looked away I said, “How could I not.”
He knelt beside me resting his arm across my shoulders and touched his head to mine. “Why did we do this? Why did we wait?” We sat in silence; the only sound was the occasional sniffle or gentle sob. Minutes passed...
“Because we were both too afraid.”
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