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Tuesday, November 18, 2014

The way it always goes.

Spur of the moment poetry. Sorry it's not a letter.

I'm Sorry I Tried

I'm sorry I tried to be your friend
To take an interest
To help you out

I'm sorry I tried to care for you
To give you support
To show no judgment

I'm sorry I tried to love you
To be the one to hold you
To be the one you can count on

I'm sorry I tried.
I can no longer try.
This, thing, is trying.

I'm sorry, to me, that I tried.
My patience is tried.
My heart is done.

I'm sorry I tried.

Saturday, November 8, 2014

Letters to Anon

I've decided to write letters to people in my life but keep them anonymous. I have finished writing one already. It won't be typed and edited right away but I thought I would share a quick quote since I haven't posted anything since NaNo Camp. I'll get back to that I promise.
I failed at even starting NaNo for the month of November, and I am kicking myself now, but I was thinking I would make up for it by doing this project and possibly setting a personal word count goal for this month and next. More updates on that later.

Here is your quick teaser quote: "Why? I don't know. There's no logic to it. I just am."

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Love at First Sight Part 2: Letters of Love and War

Word count keeps growing! I set a goal for the end of the week based on where I should be; I then met and surpassed said goal! I'm starting to think I should have been aiming for something higher than 10 000!!!

As promised:


My dearest Evelyn,

                I hope you are well for I don’t know what I would do if you weren’t. I am as well as I could be. Training is very difficult but rewarding both physically and emotionally. I miss you though my dear. We met at a most inopportune time.

                Please write to me when you get the chance, not being able to simply hold your hand is breaking my heart. I don’t have a lot of time to write so I an being brief but do not take that as a sign of my lack of heart it is far from that my beloved. My heart is flowing over the brim with love for you.

Yours now and forever,

Stanley A. Johnson

My love, Stanley,

                I am well. It is good to hear from you I fear every day that you have been sent away to war. I never took you for such a romantic man. I’ve reread your letter many times and even in its briefness it gives me goose bumps.

                I have told all my friends of our meeting. They think I have lost my mind. Maybe I have but perhaps that is what love truly is.  I sound so silly, I hope you will not think less of me for my girlish ways.

I tried to tell my mother too but she says you can’t fall in love over night; I think she is quite wrong. I have never felt this way before in my life.  There is no way it is anything but love.

I cannot wait to hear more about your life as a soldier in training,

Yours truly,

Evelyn J. Rose

My dearest Evelyn,

Reading your letter, it was as if I could hear your voice chime through the barracks. As for your accusation of romanticism I promise this is not so for how could a delicate flower like yourself survive without the manliest of men at your side? What am I saying? You do not need me or any other man; it is simply an honour for you to even consider letting me into your heart.

Truthfully, before I met you, a romantic side I did not have. You bring out the goodness in me. Before you I was hardened and serious. Now, when I think of you, which is most of the time, I smile from ear to ear.

I hope that I bring you even a fraction of the happiness you have brought me.

Yours now and forever,

Stanley A. Johnson

P.S. there is a rumour around camp that they will be sending us to aid the efforts soon.

My love, Stanley,

I do not know what to think of this news. I am unsure if I am to be happy that you are serving our country or be sad that you are moving even further from me. I will choose to be happy for the time being because it is hard not to be. I can assure you I smile that very same smile when your face or name comes to my mind.

I do not believe you when you try to tell me that you didn’t smile before you met me; your smile is one of the things I love most about you.

My friends continue to tease me for hanging on to me “silly belief” of loving you. I continue to laugh at them for not understanding matters of the heart. They know nothing of true love.

Unfortunately this strong feeling pulls at my heart string and I can’t help but be a little sad that you are not at my side. I am scared you will be harmed while you are away from me. Please come home safe and soon.

Yours truly,

Evelyn J. Rose

My dearest Evelyn,

I hate to begin my letter on such a depressing note but it is awful here. It reeks of death and decay. The sounds are unbearable. I cannot sleep. I cannot think.

I’ve been here only a short time but I already pray to be injured and sent home. I miss home, Evelyn. I miss you.

This is not the glory that the young men back home believe it to be. Yes I will take pride in the fact that I could help my country but I would not wish this upon anyone.

Stanley

My love, Stanley,

I am in tears over your last letter. I wish there was something I could do. I can only hope this letter bring you some semblance of joy and peace no matter how little.

We are feeling the effects of the efforts here as well. Many are leaving to work in factories or join medical teams. Many of my friends have gone or are locked themselves inside unable to bare the loneliness and darkness. Knowing you are out there is the only thing keeping me going,

Yours truly,

Evelyn J. Rose

Evelyn,

My best friend died yesterday. I have seen so much death. I am unsure how much more I can handle. If only you were here I could look into your eyes and know there is still good in the world.

Stanley

My love, Stanley,

I do not know what to tell you. I wish I was with you. Do you know when they are sending you home? Is the war nearing its end? I need to know you will come home to me safely.

Yours truly,

Evelyn J. Rose

My dearest Evelyn,

Worry no longer. I am in the hospital being treated for a gunshot wound. I will be fine but not well enough to continue my service.

I am being given an honourable discharge. I am coming home.

Stanley

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Love at First Sight Part 1

I promised you guys an excerpt. Here it is. Keep in mind this is super rough draft keeping in the spirit of NaNo. It needs to be fleshed out and read over but anyhow, have a read:


                “Excuse me, miss?” The young women turned, her emerald green eyes pierced the young soldier’s soul.

                “Yes?” she replied shyly, twirling her dark hair between the delicate fingers of her right hand.

                “Your dance card wouldn’t happen to be full, would it?” He took off his hand ran a hand over his freshly shaved head.

“Well,” she smiled sweetly, “I think I’ve got space for just one more.” She winked subtly at him.

                “if you would do me the honour, I would adore to have a dance with you.” He held his strong hand out and bowed his head.

                She waited a moment, made him doubt himself, and looked him over in his crisp, new, uniform.  Finally, she placed her hand in his and he led her to the center of the dance floor.

                The band began to play a fast tune. The young soldier felt quite at home twirling and spinning his partner in intricate patterns never missing a step.

                The young woman, her black and white dress flailing, couldn’t stop smiling. She was overwhelmed by this young man and his surprising abilities. Then their eyes happened to meet; sparks flew. It was not only them who felt it either; everyone in the room could feel the electricity building between them.

                The music stopped. They came to face each other standing still. Each of their chests rose and fell rapidly and their faces were red and shone with a thin layer of sweat. Their eyes met again and they smiled.

                “Would you like to go sit out on the veranda with me and cool off a little bit?” He offered through laboured breaths.

                “Yes.” She caught her breath. “I’d like that very much.

                The young couple walked hand in hand out into the moonlight

                “Evelyn.”

                “Stanley.” You could hear them whisper before they stepped out into the moonlight.
 
 
Part 2 will be a series of letters exchanged between Evelyn and Stanley, stay tuned.
 
Jerr

Sunday, July 13, 2014

Keeping On Track!

Even though I went away for the weekend I managed to keep up my writing; I'm still very on track to my word goal of 10 000 by the end of the month!!!

I set myself a goal for the weekend of 1 500 words and I squeezed in some writing every morning and managed to pump out 1 501! That's right, I one upped myself!

In addition to what I had before I've written some more character backstory as well as a little bit more of the story itself. I feel so excited and proud and fulfilled! So many times I've quit on myself; who knew I actually had it in me to set a goal and reach it?! I can only hope this new found courage and confidence will carry over into the rest of my life.

Wish me luck my friends,

Jerr

P.S. I'm thinking of giving you guys some snippets of my character development BUT note that in spirit of NaNo they have not been edited past what I do from hand written to typed!

P.P.S if you have a request for which character/couple type it in the comments below. You can choose from: James a "reformed" criminal, Evelyn and Stanley a now older couple, Tina and Greg a now middle aged couple, Brianna and Markus an early twenties couple, or Seth and Angela a now tween pair.

Monday, July 7, 2014

Camp NaNo July 2014

So, I failed at writing for NaNoWriMo in November BUT I have decided to participate in the slightly less daunting Camp NaNo. I have set my word count goal at 10 000 instead of 50 000. I think, for me, this is much more reachable. I missed writing the first couple of days because I was out in the wilderness on a family camping trip but I got right at it when I got back and wrote 888 (almost triple my "needed average per day.") I am now up to 2 386 words (todays goal was 2 258.)

Rather than doing a "novel" I am using this camp as a character development activity for another story as well as some writing for said story. So far a have written the inciting force, a series of letters from the past and two "first meetings" between characters (both romantically involved.)

The story itself centers around an "apocalypse," or devastation at the very least, caused by cosmic events. It isn't necessarily scientific but within reason enough. One of my professors always taught us that when you read you have to follow the rules of the author no the rules of your own knowledge. the author needs to stay within their own logic, yes, but not within the logic of current technology.

I may upload an excerpt soon so don't stray from here for too long!

Jerr

Monday, February 3, 2014

Option Chosen

As promised, this is the option I went with for the story I posted about in my last entry:


   "Hey, so, I don’t think I’m going out tonight,” he texted.

                “Oh? Why?”

                “Just not feeling it.” I knew he was going through a rough patch.

                “Okay. Well you want me to come over? Just chill. Night in?”

                “No. Go out.” I wasn’t about to leave him sitting at home, alone, moping. I got undressed and threw on a tee and baggy jeans; I didn’t need a dress for a movie night. I washed my face to rid myself of the mask I’d drawn on earlier and replaced in with a natural look. O grabbed my leather jacket and keys and put on my worm- out sneakers.

                On my way to campus I stopped and grabbed chips, dip and pop. When I got off the bus in front of the library it had started to rain, just a light drizzle. I walked quickly to Dante’s Building. When I got to his floor the door was propped open so I let myself in. I walked down the hall to his room and knocked on the door.

                When he opened it there was something wrong. He didn’t say anything, his jaw dropped and he kept the door mostly closed. “Hey,” he said finally, uncertainly.

“Hi.”

“What are you doing? Shouldn’t you be out at the club?”

“I figured you were here moping so I thought I grabbed some snacks and came over.” I pushed the door open to walk in. It was my turn for a jaw dropping experience. The room was dark, and then lightning flashed and illuminated what was on the table: a needle, a spoon, an elastic and a small bag.

I dropped the bag. I looked back at Dante who just stood there, watching and waiting for my reaction. I walked over to a chair and sat abruptly. I put my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands. He approached me slowly, cautiously. He stretched out his hand to put it on my shoulder.

“No!” I said. He recoiled and retreated. There was another moment of silence.

“Deirdre?” he said in a quiet voice. “Deirdre, can you say something?” I looked up. He was sitting across the room, on the floor, in a corner, pulling his knees to his chest.

“Honestly Dante, I’m not sure what to say.” He went to speak but I shushed him. “I mean, I’m not sure what to say or what to feel. I’m confused. I’m scared. I’m worried. I don’t know why you’d share everything else with me but keep this a secret. I don’t know if I should get out now before I get pulled into it. I don’t know if I should try to help. Would you even accept my help? I really don’t know what to say, so how about you say something?”

“Umm, I—" he looked up with tears in his eyes. “I don’t know what to say. I’m just as confused and scared and worried as you are. I’m confused as to why you are still here. I’m scared that I’m going to take this too far. I’m worried that I’m going to drag you down or lose you. But Deirdre, if you’re willing to stay and you’re willing to help, I’ll take all the help I can get. I’ve gotten myself into some bad shit. Its—" I was sobbing now, his head on his knees. “It’s really bad, Deirdre” he said, muffled.

I got up and went to sit beside him against the wall. I put my arm around him. He laid his head on my shoulder, crying. I wiped the tears from his face.

“Of course I’ll help. You know that. I’m just shocked and I never thought, after all you’ve told me, that there was anything you’d hide from me.”
                His sobbing had ceased. He looked up to me, his eyes bloodshot and glossy. “Deirdre, I was too ashamed. I’ve somewhat come to terms with everything else. But this—" he closed his eyes, straining not to cry, straining to talk. “This is different. I know that its bad but I’m in too deep. I’m ashamed that I ever let myself fall prey to the drugs. My mind was at a different place then and even though it’s different now I can’t get away.”

I held him tight against my chest, like you would a child. “You’ve already taken a huge step tonight. You’ve admitted you have a problem and you’re seeking help. And I promise I’m going to help you. Anything you need, any time.”
 
Please leave comments below on what you think. your thoughts mean the world to me! thanks in advance :)

Saturday, January 25, 2014

So Many Options, Only One Story

So, I'm running a little behind on my posting BUT I do have something for you! :)
 
This is a partial story from one of my "character clusters." The original reason for this post was going to be for help. I had multiple ways of how this story could go running through my head so I started all of them, but I think I figured it out. Although I like the ones I didn't choose for various reasons I feel like the way I chose is the most appropriate for the characters. So here we go:


“Hey, so, I don’t think I’m going out tonight,” he texted.

                “Oh? Why?”

                “Just not feeling it.” I knew he was going through a rough patch.

                “Okay. Well you want me to come over? Just chill. Night in?”

                “No. Go out.” I wasn’t about to leave him sitting at home, alone, moping. I got undressed and threw on a tee and baggy jeans; I didn’t need a dress for a movie night. I washed my face to rid myself of the mask I’d drawn on earlier and replaced in with a natural look. O grabbed my leather jacket and keys and put on my worm- out sneakers.

                On my way to campus I stopped and grabbed chips, dip and pop. When I got off the bus in front of the library it had started to rain, just a light drizzle. I walked quickly to Dante’s Building. When I got to his floor the door was propped open so I let myself in. I walked down the hall to his room and knocked on the door.

                When he opened it there was something wrong. He didn’t say anything, his jaw dropped and he kept the door mostly closed. “Hey,” he said finally, uncertainly.

“Hi.”

“What are you doing? Shouldn’t you be out at the club?”

“I figured you were here moping so I thought I grabbed some snacks and came over.” I pushed the door open to walk in. It was my turn for a jaw dropping experience. The room was dark, and then lightning flashed and illuminated what was on the table: a needle, a spoon, an elastic and a small bag.

OPTION 1

“Uh, Dante?” I said turning to find him with his head hung low, leaning against the wall. “Is that---?“

“Just leave. I know you want to.” He pushed the door wide open. I walked over and closed it.

Dante looked up surprised. “But---“

“Look Dante, I don’t approve but I’m not leaving.”

“You’re not?”

“Nope, so clean that shit up. I’ll grab some glasses.” I went over to the kitchenette, poured the ships into a bowl and the coke into glasses. He grabbed the paraphernalia and hid it in his room. I joined him and sat on the bed, “You wanna talk about it?”

“Another time. Let’s just watch a movie, okay?”

“Yep, pick something and put it in.”

OPTION 2

I dropped the bag and rushed back out the door.

“Deirdre!” I heard him call after me. I just kept running. It was pouring outside now. I didn’t stop at the bus stop, I just kept running. My breath burned in my lungs, my mind raced, the thunder cracked; I just kept running.

Soaked. Confused. Scared. I walked into my house where my roommate sat sipping tea and reading. “What the fuck happened to you?” She asked upon seeing my running mascara, hearing my laboured breathing and feeling the tension in the air. I said nothing. I walked past her and sat on the floor by the balcony door. “Deirdre?”

I looked up at her. “Yeah?”

“What happened?”

“I went to Dante’s” I thought about telling her but clearly he didn’t want anyone to know. “Don’t worry about it.” I smiled; it was a fake smile.

“Kay,” she said, unimpressed.

“Jules?”

“Yeah?”

“Can you make me some tea?” She smiled and nodded before leaving the room.

OPTION 3

I dropped the bag. I looked back at Dante who just stood there, watching and waiting for my reaction. I walked over to a chair and sat abruptly. I put my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands. He approached me slowly, cautiously. He stretched out his hand to put it on my shoulder.

“No!” I said. He recoiled and retreated. There was another moment of silence.

“Deirdre?” he said in a quiet voice. “Deirdre, can you say something?” I looked up. He was sitting across the room, on the floor, in a corner, pulling his knees to his chest.

“Honestly Dante, I’m not sure what to say.” He went to speak but I shushed him. “I mean, I’m not sure what to say or what to feel. I’m confused. I’m scared. I’m worried. I don’t know why you’d share everything else with me but keep this a secret. I don’t know if I should get out now before I get pulled into it. I don’t know if I should try to help. Would you even accept my help? I really don’t know what to say, so how about you say something?”

OPTION 4

                “Oh, look, heroin!” I said. “I didn’t know you were a drug addict. Can I try? Will you show me how? What does it feel like?”

                “Deirdre?”

“Yeah?”

                “You’re kidding right?”

                “Nope! Let’s go! How do we do this?”

                “Deirdre, stop!” He yelled pulling things from my hands.

                “Why? You do it? What’s so bad about me joining you? Just another thing for us to bond over.”

                He sighed. “Because it’s not good. I need out but---“ He had a tear in his eye; it rolled down his cheek.

                My heart broke. “Dante,” I started. “I shouldn’t have been so insensitive. I didn’t---“ I trailed off.

                “No, you were just reacting. I get it. You can leave if you want. I won’t hold it against you.”

                “No, Dante. I don’t want to leave.” I thought for a second. “Unless you want me to leave?” I asked hesitantly.

                “No!” he said surprisingly loud. “No. If you’re here, I won’t use.”

                “Okay, put on a movie. I’ll grab us some glasses.”

                He walked away, he looked relived.

So that's what I came up with, please leave your comments below. In a few days I'll post my own thoughts and the piece that I actually chose to go with :)

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Excerpts, Updates and a Writing Epiphany

     Jimmy pushed past me and dragged me to the middle of the floor. He spun me into him then with his hand placed firmly on the small of my back we gracefully flew between dancers across the room. Soon a circle formed around us and Jimmy proceeded to spin and twirl me as we bounded across the floor. I smiled uncontrollably as everyone stood in awe.
     As the song ended we came to a standstill in the middle. His lips only inches from mine. Our chests rose and fell with our heavy breathing. My heart pounded against my breastbone. My head was a-buzz with adrenaline and endorphins. I could see the question in his eyes; I answered with my own. His lips pressed against mine. He pulled me in close. My whole body was touching his. I rested one arm around his neck while my other hand ran into his hair holding him close to me.
     We pulled away from each other realizing people were still staring. Embarrassed, I put my forehead to his chest, blushing. Jimmy rested his chin on the top of my head; I could tell he was smiling. My hands rested on his biceps, his arms firmly around my waist. Elise and Jenny approached us giggling.
     "That was quite the show!"

So there you have it, the first of two excerpts from one of the many pieces I am currently working on. This one is based on my love of the country (and the boys that reside there ;) ) As with basically everything I write I don't really have an end to it until I get there. I prefer to let my characters tell the story rather than force them to follow the story line I think they should.
Although, that being said I realized something! I think the best way for me to have a decent short story is to write this way and then cut it down significantly during the editing process. I find I generally have too much of a set up as well as unnecessary parts throughout and that if I, basically, took an excerpt from what I've written it makes for a much more interesting story. That was my "epiphany" I guess it wasn't all that exciting after all but at the time it was a great accomplishment of my mind.
As for an update, I've written quite a bit since beginning my New Years' resolution. I haven't exactly met my goal every day but I reached over double my goal today so in my mind that makes up for it slightly.

As I was writing the first part of this post I decided to add in a bit about the work I'm doing right now and where it comes from and why I'm writing it and whatnot. So, there are three main things I'm working on. For me its more three sets of characters rather than three stories because I have multiple stories for some of them they just use the same characters. All of them are based off of something in my life (or someone). All of them are also based on a couple or at least a relationship.
The one you just read an excerpt from is, like I said, based on my love of the country and nature and the boys that go along with that. anyone that is on my Facebook has surely seen all my shares about country boys :P basically its about a girl (loosely based on a part of me) that is a country girl at heart but hasn't exactly lived the life. She meets a guy who is the epitome of her ideal country boy. story goes on, not sure where it will end.
The second is about a girl (again loosely based on an aspect of me) that has strong feeling for the wrong guy. Said guy is a drug addict that causes her extreme pain as well as extreme pleasure (and no I don't mean sexual pleasure, get your heads out of the gutter!)  I actually do have the end of this one written but only a paragraph of it so we will see how it makes its way there. Perhaps I will share that with you next week. that will depend on if I want to ruin the end and also if I have something else to post instead.
The third is about two generally non-descript characters at the moment. it was more based on a first date idea I wanted to write about. The basic idea is skating on the canal but the girl hasn't skated in years (quel surprise, just like moi!) so this piece has very little thought put into other than the guy is very, very loosely (so far) based off of someone I know.

To end, here is the second excerpt (the end of one of the "mini" stories; the same one the first was a part of) I promised:

     When we got there the girls jumped out of the truck and went straight to the house. Jimmy and I stood in front of his beat-up red truck.
     "Thanks for a great night, Jameson." I got on my tip-toes and gave him a kiss in the cheek. I turned and started to walk away.
     "Wait!" I turned back. "What's Cally short for?"
     "Calico." He started to walk toward me.
     "No, thank-you, Calico." He kissed me, then turned and walked back to his truck in silence; he left me gasping for my breath. He waved as he backed out onto the road, his smile cutting though the dark of the night.

Friday, January 3, 2014

Happy New Year!

     As part of my very broad New Year's Resolution to be happy I will be posting in this blog, hopefully, once a week. It will not always be a completed piece but perhaps an excerpt or simply an update of what I am currently working on.
I ask everyone reading this to help me achieve my writing goals by doing the following:
     - Ask me about it!
               - Keep on me. Ask me what I'm working on. ask me if I've written today.
     - Tell me what you think (do it via the blog comments!)
               - Tell me what you liked? hated? what it made you feel? just tell me the truth, none of this "yeah it was really good!" I'm looking for constructive criticism.
     - Share it!
               - Share your work with me! I want to learn from you. also, share my work with others, introduce them to my blog. the more followers the better!
               - Share your ideas too. characters? settings? plots? concepts? prompts? please send them my way!

Basically, I'm just looking for a little motivation and interaction with my readers and fellow writers. It'll take you only a few minutes and it will legitimately make my day.

Thanks for reading,

Love always,

Jerr <3